Brownies

I watched the beginning part of the presidential inauguration with Richhpal and excused myself to see if I could help with dinner. Richhpal does not eat dinner with the family – he eats a healthier meal in his room around 7 pm everyday while watching the news. It was 9 pm and I was starving. I walked past the kitchen and heard Amrith, Cub and Jaspal talking, so I grabbed a plate and sat down. I was a bit confused why I wasn’t told dinner was ready, but sat down hoping that they would be excited to ask me about my travels through the mountains of Nepal. The entire dinner was conducted in Punjabi and I had no eye contact from anyone. Being left alone most of the day, this made me feel very alone. I slowly ate my meal, trying to make eye contact as to instigate spontaneous English speaking, but had no luck.

After I was done, I sat politely and waited to be excused. Since this didn’t happen and I felt tears fill my glands, I excused myself, went to my room, and cried. I then wiped my face, put a smile on my face (something I have become good at over the years) and walked across the courtyard. I walked over to Richhpal’s room poking my head through the door, hoping he would pat the side of his bed motioning me to come in and sit, and he did, so we continued to watch the inauguration.

A couple of hours passed and Amrith poked her head in the door as to hint that it was her bedtime. I was sitting in her bed, after all, so I thanked Richhpal for the company and went to my room across the courtyard. I peeked in the kitchen and didn’t see Jaspal or Cub, so I went back to my room. A few minutes passed and I heard loud footsteps coming from the stairs that lead to the roof. Cub walked into my room and I began to cry again. He felt so bad and consoled me and promised to not leave me again. I felt emotional and needy and I hated it. He then told me he would go into town to get all the ingredients for me to make brownies.

“You like brownies, right?”